I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
