Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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