i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
