I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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