Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
