He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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