I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
