i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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