I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
