If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
