some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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