So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
