I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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