you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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