new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
