duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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