Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
