I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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