Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
