Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
