no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I had your ass I would rule the world
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
