Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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