i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
