i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize