How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
