Don't make out with my wife yet
He passed out mid-signature
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I have post one night stand depression
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