That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
