just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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