Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
