bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why did my mother make you get naked?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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