No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
