The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
