So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
