I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
