i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
