so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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