So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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