Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
