I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize