I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
