If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
