Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
