I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
