like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
