It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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