I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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