Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
