I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
