He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
