it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
