The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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