Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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