I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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