What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
