lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
