forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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